It’s the Little Things that Matter

By Nicole Black

I think the hardest part about balancing work and family is the little things. It’s not that difficult to manage the big things–like arranging for child care, making sure lunches are packed and ready to go, or ensuring that homework gets done. For me, that’s never been the hard part.

Instead, it’s the minuscule details that throw me for a loop. Running the lives of an entire household is never easy and when you’re trying to stay on top of work responsibilities and deadlines, the family stuff can sometimes feel overwhelming. Just when you think you’ve got everything under control, a loose thread peeks out from the neatly wound ball of yarn that is your life and reminds you that chaos reigns supreme, whether you like it or not.

For example, on a Monday morning one of your kids reminds you that it’s “Spirit Week” at school and she’s supposed to wear orange today. Unfortunately the only orange shirt she owns is dirty. This causes her to melt down over what, to you, seems like a silly issue, but to your 8 year old, is an event of importance on par with the the presidential inauguration. Despite your very rational arguments that the world won’t end if orange is not worn, your child refuses to budge. So, you grab the dirty, rumpled, orange shirt from the hamper and hope that no one notices the chocolate stains smeared across the front of it.

Or, the day after “Teacher Appreciation Day,” your kids inform you that they were the only kids who didn’t bring anything to school for their teachers. You wonder if it’s true that you’re the only clueless working parent, but then assure yourself that at least one other parent must have forgotten. You can’t be the only one.

And don’t even get me started about kids’ birthday parties. The invites pour in, seemingly all at once, making you wonder why everyone’s parents decided to procreate in the same month. Did they all attend a party that you weren’t invited to? One where the hosts served particularly strong drinks? As each invite comes in, in between work phone calls, meetings and deadlines, you have to calendar the parties, RSVP and then remember to buy presents. Just when you think you’ve covered all your bases, on the day of the party, you realize that you’re running low on wrapping paper. You’re tempted to throw the present in a “Gap” bag and call it a day, but instead make a last minute trip to the store to stock up.

Or, it’s a school night and your eldest has soccer practice at 6. After scarfing down a quick meal with your kids, you try to locate the soccer clothes, cleats and shin pads. One cleat is sitting in the mudroom, just where it should be, but its mate is missing. You look everywhere. It’s 5:55 and the cleat is nowhere to be found. In a last minute frantic search of her room you find it in her closet, in a back pack–the missing, long overdue library book is in there, too. You wonder if all of the mates to your household’s unmatched socks are in there–or maybe even a check from a client who still hasn’t paid an outstanding invoice. No dice.

Then there are your kid’s glasses.  They always go missing at the most inopportune times. Like weekday mornings just minutes before the bus arrives. You look everywhere. Even the backpack in the closet. No luck. They’re gone. You order a new pair. Days later, your child discovers her glasses in the pajama drawer–the pajama drawer, of all places!

You shake your head, sigh, and call the optometrist to cancel the order for a new pair of glasses. While you’re on the phone, your youngest tugs on your sleeve. “Mom,” she says. “I made this for you.” It’s a drawing of a pink butterfly. It says “Best mom ever.”

You look down at her little face and smile and are suddenly struck be the realization even though the little things are what drive you crazy when you try to balance work and family, it’s also the little things that matter the most.

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